Being Authentic
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This sounds ludicrous at first glance, but when you dig a little bit deeper, I think that a lot of people would agree with that statement. But what does being true to yourself even mean? We live/work such busy lives that we do even stop to consider what is most important anymore, I don’t regret my life, but I have a long ways to go before I’m really living the life true to myself.
I find that I really enjoy cooking, design, photography, family, and nature. My current job as an analyst allows me to be somewhat creative and carefree. But I’m not really doing what I truly want. Sometimes, I stop and think why it’s so hard to cut the financial rope. I’m not going to die if I quit my job tomorrow, in fact nothing terrible would occur if I were to lose my job. Then why it’s that most of us, wait until we are fired, let go, suffocated from our job, before I even blink to try to do something else. I’m tied to my job, because I want the financial security, the paycheck, the healthcare benefits.
How can I be more true to myself? I can take more photos with my Nikon D90 more frequently. I can start a side business taking photos, and editing photos. Because I’m actually pretty good at it, because I enjoy it and it doesn’t seem like work. I’ve already taken the first step of incorporating a business, I always thought that it was going to be complicated, but in fact it was really easy. I have a business bank account, I have a business credit card. I’m ready to start! Hello world, “I’m ready, are you ready for me?”
I’m not super excited about my life right now. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s not the life I could be living. I could be volunteering more, I could be more helpful, I could be living in a different country, I could be having a different profession. I could be living in a different house, driving a different car. Yes, I could be doing all of these thing but are they really what I want? I don’t know.
As I’m writing this, I feel like I have written these exact words before as I was entering college, after I finished college, before I got promoted. How do I know that I have arrived, if I don’t know where it’s that I’m going? Am I even going anywhere, or I am simply moving because everything around me is moving. I think that it helps me to be true to myself, if I have friends and associates that are true to themselves. Being authentic is hard, when it’s so easy to put on a face, put on makeup, hide behind clothes and accessories, hide behind our jobs and careers, hide behind our degrees and authorities. Being authentic is making the hard decision. Being authentic is raising the tough questions. Be authentic is admitting that I don’t know very much about anything, and that I need help in almost everything that I do. I’m authentic, I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true myself.
