Premise: People who are members of online social networks are not so much “networking” as they broadcasting their lives to an outer tier of acquaintances. Technologies have allowed to humans to advertise themselves more efficiently, but they still have the same small circle of intimate friends, fact that number on average is on the decline.

What is an intimate relationship? And what is a sexual relationship
X= you are having a sexual relationship
Y= you are having an intimate relationship
X and Y= you are having an intimate relationship that is also sexual
X noty= you are having a sexual relationship that is not intimate
Y notx= you are having an intimate relationship that is not sexual

Relationship Types: We have not even begun to talk about all the other different level of casual encounters, acquaintances, old friends, new friends, trusted friends, professional relationships, personal relationships, dating relationship, lifelong relationships, breakable relationships, genetic relationships, strong relationships, weak relationships. All of these terms have different meaning to different people; there is no on average what the level of engagement is for the specific individual.

My own analysis of myself is that the premise is entirely true, and that is the scary part. For my generation anyone under 20, growing up with computers, cell phones, GPS, Internet banking, XM radio, blogging, IM, AOL, broadband, etc, have we become more impersonal. Technologies have connected us on an artificial level, but not a deep level. I have over 2000 friends on face book, lots on MySpace, thousands of connections on instant messaging, numbers in my cell phone list that I don’t even know, professional networks, gay networks, Asian network, and on networks that I have even forgotten about. Anyone remember bolt.com? I think they went bankrupt.

The point is that even with all of these connections, I still feel alone. Sure, I can call and talk to anyone, I can chat with anyone, and even 10 people at the same time. Actually, I can be on my cell phone, video chat, IMing, and leaving comments on someone’s wall all the same time, and still feel like I’m not connecting and communicating with anyone. It’s instantaneous, very right now, and that’s the problem. It’s a short-term solution and a long-term problem.

I can’t say that people care that that has an intimate group of friends anymore. For my own needs, I came up with a list of people that I know can depend on for advice, and help, and for support:
In hospital? __________
Loan? __________
Business Partner? __________
Lawsuit? __________
Best Man? __________
Power of Attorney? _________
In my Will? _______
Child’s God Parents? ________
Beneficiary? ____________

This simple exercise will expose if anything the deficiencies of my networks. I can’t even fill out most of these fields. I guess I have some work to make up. But that’s ok; I have time to work it out, and another lifetime to realize it. These people don’t just fall out of the sky, it takes hard work to establish, timing, opportunity, and resources to maintain. I am thankful that I have my family, so that is a few cards I do have to play already. And I’m fortunate that despite everything, I do have some very close friends I know I can depend on.

In summary, all of the most important people in our lives will be there when we die. Our family, our children, our lover, past lovers, close friends, business relationships, doctors, lawyers, frenemies, and people’s whose lives we have influenced in a significant way, teachers, and students. They will be there to celebrate, to recognize, to pay tribute, to see with their own eyes that you are dead, but most importantly. To be there.

In the end, being there is the only thing that will matter.

Tags: Facebook, Social network, Life, Family