My Social Support Group
Premise: People who are
members of online social networks are not so much “networking” as
they broadcasting their lives to an outer tier of acquaintances.
Technologies have allowed to humans to advertise themselves more
efficiently, but they still have the same small circle of intimate
friends, fact that number on average is on the decline.
What
is an intimate relationship? And what is a sexual
relationship
X= you are having a sexual relationship
Y= you are having an intimate relationship
X and Y= you are having an intimate relationship that is also
sexual
X noty= you are having a sexual relationship that is not
intimate
Y notx= you are having an intimate relationship that is not
sexual
Relationship Types: We have not even
begun to talk about all the other different level of casual
encounters, acquaintances, old friends, new friends, trusted
friends, professional relationships, personal relationships, dating
relationship, lifelong relationships, breakable relationships,
genetic relationships, strong relationships, weak relationships.
All of these terms have different meaning to different people;
there is no on average what the level of engagement is for the
specific individual.
My
own analysis of myself is that the premise is entirely true, and
that is the scary part. For my generation anyone under 20, growing
up with computers, cell phones, GPS, Internet banking, XM radio,
blogging, IM, AOL, broadband, etc, have we become more impersonal.
Technologies have connected us on an artificial level, but not a
deep level. I have over 2000 friends on face book, lots on MySpace,
thousands of connections on instant messaging, numbers in my cell
phone list that I don’t even know, professional networks, gay
networks, Asian network, and on networks that I have even forgotten
about. Anyone remember bolt.com? I think they went bankrupt.
The point is that even with all of these connections, I still feel
alone. Sure, I can call and talk to anyone, I can chat with anyone,
and even 10 people at the same time. Actually, I can be on my cell
phone, video chat, IMing, and leaving comments on someone’s wall
all the same time, and still feel like I’m not connecting and
communicating with anyone. It’s instantaneous, very right now, and
that’s the problem. It’s a short-term solution and a long-term
problem.
I can’t say that people care that that has an intimate group of
friends anymore. For my own needs, I came up with a list of people
that I know can depend on for advice, and help, and for
support:
In hospital? __________
Loan? __________
Business Partner? __________
Lawsuit? __________
Best Man? __________
Power of Attorney? _________
In my Will? _______
Child’s God Parents? ________
Beneficiary? ____________
This simple exercise will expose if anything the deficiencies of my
networks. I can’t even fill out most of these fields. I guess I
have some work to make up. But that’s ok; I have time to work it
out, and another lifetime to realize it. These people don’t just
fall out of the sky, it takes hard work to establish, timing,
opportunity, and resources to maintain. I am thankful that I have
my family, so that is a few cards I do have to play already. And
I’m fortunate that despite everything, I do have some very close
friends I know I can depend on.
In summary, all of the most important people in our lives will be
there when we die. Our family, our children, our lover, past
lovers, close friends, business relationships, doctors, lawyers,
frenemies, and people’s whose lives we have influenced in a
significant way, teachers, and students. They will be there to
celebrate, to recognize, to pay tribute, to see with their own eyes
that you are dead, but most importantly. To be there.
In the end, being there is the only thing that will matter.

